A yadacity exclusive. One of the VERY best VERY best (one more time) VERY best film publicist had some thoughts.
It’s funny – because it’s true!
We are obsessed with lists -- grocery lists...reminder lists...’honey do’ lists...top ten lists!
With a tip of the hat to the listers of the world, here are the Top Ten Things Those Who Are Jobless (Meaning Me) Do to Have Fun While Unemployed.
10. Practice spelling and pronouncing the name ‘Blagojevich’ in case jury duty calls and I am assigned to his forthcoming federal trial.
9. Trying to figure out what will stimulate my package in this bleak economy (I’m trying to remember the last time my package was stimulated).
8. Prepare a petition to get my name on the ballot for the election of the next junior Senator from Illinois (if I lie about my background in public service, as I surely must to get ballot space, I should win plenty of votes if not the outright election).
7. Twitter the night away to let my social network friends know what I am doing tonight, tomorrow night, the night thereafter...at 7:00 pm...then at 7:01 pm...then at 7:02 pm...
6. Think about changing careers -- I’ve always wanted to be a barista (don’t you love to say ‘
5. Pump myself up on steroids so I can complement the anger and frustration I already have about being out of work with something called ‘roid rage’.
4. Keep wondering why my spam mail always contains simultaneous sales pitches for both Viagra and computer printer cartridges -- oh, I know, a constant reminder that my printer is out of ink, and my pencil is
out of lead!
3. As my life dwines away, this dweeb watches his already dwarfed bank account dwindle further, thus affecting the payment of the mortgage on his personal dwelling (yes, you guessed it, this line contains the only five words in the English language that begin with ‘dw’).
2. Watch reruns all day long of “Eight Is Enough” (reminding me that eight months of unemployment is quite enough, thank you very much).
And, the Number 1 thing those (like myself) who are jobless do to have fun while being unemployed is --
1. Fill out job application forms and essays like this one (and try to
come up with the required 400 words)!!!
Yada City has spoken. Happy Obama years to come!
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